Engagement and Gratitude

Our engagement started in my apartment. I was wearing a Boston Red Sox t-shirt and Nike shorts when Matt walked in with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. The bouquet contained peonies, my favorite, and all sorts of other pretty things. I noticed the twine holding them together, and I thought it looked ridiculous. But I ignored the twine for the moment, deciding I would take it off later, and found a vase.

It was a normal night where we hung out and made dinner together and ate at my secondhand round, oak table. And after dinner, as Matt started an incredibly intentional conversation about our relationship and our love for each other and what’s to come, he started to unwrap the twine that bothered me earlier, somehow extracted the ring that was hidden inside, and before I knew what was happening, he was on his knee with a ring in his hand and I was screaming yes before he could even get the words out.

We spent the next hour looking at each other in awe, then at the ring, then back at each other. We laughed and screamed and chattered in disbelief and excitement and gratitude. I was impressed that I had no idea what was happening until he was on his knee and he was impressed that he completely surprised his nosy, intuitive, and impatient now-fiance.

The past eight months have been beautiful and crazy. They’ve both gone too fast and not fast enough. We’ve made a million decisions on invitations and guest list and decor. We’ve called our parents a billion times to ask questions and get feedback and say thank you. I’ve run tons of ideas past my amazing bridesmaids as we enjoyed the opportunities to talk more often. And in the middle of all the decision making, Matt and I would remember that we are going be married at the end of all of this and we’d start smiling and laughing and dreaming all over again.

And now, as I sit in front of my computer waiting for the wedding programs to print out with a billion things on my mind and copious amounts of gratitude in my heart, I can’t help but reflect on and remember this season that will be over in just two days.

Matt is my favorite person– he is kind and loving and smart. He loves Jesus with everything he has and pursues Christ with a mature tenacity that pushes me to do the same. He’s good at grace, really good at it, and he has this witty humor that makes me laugh everytime. He is quiet and careful and slows me down, which if you know me, are all things I need often. He’s my balance and my person and the thought of getting to do everything together for the rest of our lives gets me all giddy excited all over again.

And after Matt, when I think through the different months and milestones of our engagement, I can’t help but think of our people, of our community. Matt and I learned that we’re not in this thing alone, that we have an incredible army of people rooting us on towards each other and towards Christ and these past several months I’ve been sitting in awe at all the love that has been poured out on us.

Our marriage is going to affect more than just us and I’m excited and hopeful to see how the Lord is going to use us to build people up in our community and how our people, whoever they may be in our different seasons together, are going to build us up and support us in the ways we need. And if our engagement is any indication of what’s to come, I know we’re going to be taken care of well because our people have taken care of us in more abundant ways than we could have asked for.

So to each of those people: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We couldn’t have done this season without you and we won’t be able to face the coming seasons without you. The Lord has created us for community, and through our engagement, we have experienced this truth in so many tangible ways through the showers you planned and surprised me with, all the pieces of advice, all the offers for help, and all the grace during the crazy weeks when we had a billion things on our minds. We hope to extend that same love, grace, and encouragement to you when you need it.

And so, as we finish up the last of the to-do lists and go through what might be the busiest, craziest, most exhilarating day of our lives thus far, here are a few last thoughts: engagement is so much more than the pictures and the dress and the ring and the reception looking perfect. It’s more than working out a ton and eating well to ensure the dress fits perfectly or pleasing every single person who will show up. And I’m writing this to you because this is what I need to remember the most right now. Engagement is this unique form of community and companionship, a beautiful in-between period of anticipation and preparation and excitement that the Lord knew we needed to prepare and to get ready for something that’s so much bigger than us– a reflection of His relationship with His people. It’s this season to remember and to learn more about the Lord’s heart for us and how that can transfer to our love for each other in the most intimate relationship we can have here.

I know these next few days are going to fly and so soon we will no longer be able to identify ourselves as engaged, but married. And as excited as we are for our life together, I needed to remember this time, these past eight months where the Lord has proved his faithfulness and provision through each other and those around us. Thank you for being our people, for reminding us of the goodness ahead and to focus on what matters, and for loving us so, so well. 

 

 

 

 

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